Okay, werk! Settle in, grab your most gagged beverage, because I need to spill all the tea on my sacred pilgrimage to witness Miley Cyrus’s “Something Beautiful” the Film at Paragon Cineplex in Bangkok. Honey, it was a JOURNEY.
First, the odyssey. My Grab ride, which should have been a breezy one-hour sashay to the cinema, decided to serve three hours of pure traffic trauma. Rain? Rush hour? The universe was clearly testing my devotion, trying to steal my joy, but darling, I was serving “about to miss Miley” realness. I practically leapt out of that car and sprinted to the fifth floor of Paragon mall at 6:50 PM. My heels were screaming, my wig was slightly askew, and I almost had a dramatic, cinematic cry of fear right there in the mall. But I made it! And thank goodness, because there, I found five other blessed Smilers, ready to bask in the glory with me.
Now, for the gasp moment. This is supposed to be the biggest, most gagged main theater in Bangkok, right? So, where were the posters? The glittering Miley standees? The sequined decorations?! Absolutely nothing. My inner publicist was screaming. It was a crime against gagness, and frankly, a personal affront. And the audience count? A whopping 21 people. Twenty-one! It was shocking, a stark reminder that perhaps the mainstream isn’t quite ready for the avant-garde brilliance Miley is serving this decade. But you know what? For us 20-something OGs, it just made our connection even stronger. We were the chosen few, darling, the secret society of gagness.
Oh, and Thailand has this law where they play the King’s Anthem before any movie. So, our running gag? That was “Track 0: Pre-Prelude” to Miley’s cinematic masterpiece, honey. A full pre-show warm-up, courtesy of the monarchy!
We’d already devoured the visuals for Tracks 1-4 and 6 on YouTube, so the real excitement was saved for the big screen reveal.
The New Visuals: A Deep Dive into the Lewks
Track 5: Interlude 1 Okay, so this was the moment we saw Miley literally wiping off her past self – all that makeup from “More to Lose” just gone – and then she strutted, unbothered, to the “Easy Lover” set. It was a simple, yet powerful, visual cleansing. She looked stunning, of course. Nothing too wild, but sometimes, a queen just needs to serve raw, stripped-down beauty.
Track 7: Interlude 2 After “Easy Lover,” this interlude was everything. The dancy, mysterious vibe had me gagging. Miley and her dancers were looking absolutely snatched, and then she was about to hop on a motorcycle! The anticipation for what came next was almost unbearable.
Track 8: “Golden Burning Sun” Alright, so maybe I smelled a whiff of stock footage for the road scenes, but honestly, it blended seamlessly with Miley’s fire. She was on that motorcycle, serving fashion poses and fierce hand movements for days. The camera angles finally gave us something to live for, and that warm, golden sun effect? Darling, I could feel the heat through the screen. My favorite song got the visual it deserved.
Track 9: “Walk of Fame” YES! A visual that was not trapped in a studio! We were finally out on the actual Hollywood Walk of Fame, and my inner tourist was screaming. Miley didn’t just look stunning; her dance moves were a full-on masterclass! Forget “Easy Lover” – this was Miley giving us serious, choreographed werk. It was refreshing, dynamic, and proved she can slay a dance break like nobody’s business. 10/10, no notes!
Track 10: “Pretend You’re God” Visually, this one felt a little… safe. Lots of Miley’s emotional face, overlaid with thunder and a hazy filter. If you’re a “Dead Petz” era stan, you probably ate this up. For me? It was nice, but a bit too easy for a queen like Miley. I need more drama, more flair!
Track 11: “Every Girl You’ve Ever Loved” This is what I came for, honey! We got duo and solo choreography from both Miley and the legendary Naomi Campbell. They were both beyond good. The set with those giant industrial fans and the dramatic lighting? Pure editorial fantasy. Their clothes, their hair, their makeup – they were EVERYTHING! A fashion moment for the ages, truly.
Track 12: “Reborn” My absolute favorite track, and the visual just solidified its place in my heart. The whole thing looked like it was shot through a blurry, pixelated TV screen, giving it this cool blue, net-like filter. Miley gave me major Lady Gaga “Born This Way” vibes, but with extra sparkle and a dash of queer joy. And seeing her boyfriend Max in it, openly displaying their love, was truly a moment to make you gagged. This one will always have a special place in my soul.
Track 13: “Give Me Love” The perfect, poignant goodbye. The visual gracefully shrunk into a small box on the left, with the end credits rolling on the right. This song is already a timeless masterpiece, and while the visual wasn’t groundbreaking from Miley, it fit the emotional weight of the track perfectly.
The Verdict: Was It Worth the Kiki?
Basically, we paid 400 baht to see the best 60% of the film (the other 40% we’d already devoured on YouTube, of course). And yes, absolutely worth it. Seeing Miley on that colossal screen, with the Paragon Cineplex sound system vibrating through my soul, was divine. My only wish? That more Smilers had shown up! Twenty-one gagged people isn’t enough to show Miley that her Thai fans are still riding with her.
I know I can be a tad critical when it comes to Miley’s visuals, but at the end of the day, I stan everything she does. “Something Beautiful” deserves so much more recognition. I truly think her team should’ve dropped the whole visual album and the music simultaneously to create that massive cultural impact. But no matter what, I’m already buzzing, wondering what iconic, boundary-pushing gagged Miley will bless us with next. She always understands the assignment!