Lately, I feel like my body is rejecting work.
My brain is still on — constantly working, constantly planning. I know exactly how to get things done. I can see the steps clearly in my head. But my body? It’s not listening anymore. My hands hurt. My back aches. My whole body just refuses to keep up.
Meanwhile, the ideas keep coming — from the left, from the right, from above. I feel like I need to catch them all, make them real, and please everyone. I don’t know how to not be that person anymore.
I just finished organizing two major events:
→ May 28–30
→ June 9–11
Both required full focus, energy, and coordination. And the moment they ended, I was expected to switch from event mode to creative mode — like flipping a switch I didn’t even get time to rest next to.
It’s not that I hate what I do. This is my passion. I love design. I love creating things that move people. I love seeing ideas come to life. But right now, my body and my mental state are screaming for help — quietly, internally — and I don’t think anyone around me notices.
I have meetings stacked back to back. I have design tasks waiting for care and attention. And yet… I just want to cry.
I’m not usually someone who cries.
But I think I need to.
I feel overwhelmed.
And I don’t want advice — especially not from people who’ve never stood in my position, or who don’t understand the complexity of juggling everything with little support. If I don’t see your skill, or your path, I can’t hear your advice. I can only hear noise.
What I want… is to be seen.
To be respected not just for the work I output, but for the weight I carry doing it all, alone or nearly alone.
To be understood not just as “the one who always delivers,” but as a real person who’s tired and still trying.
So this post isn’t me giving up.
It’s me finally saying it: I’m not okay.
And maybe that’s okay too.